Annoying Things That Therapists Recommend That Actually Work

which makes them more annoying. 

These things won't make your problems go away, but they will increase your ability to have a fulfilling, growth-oriented life...

As a therapist in Oakland, CA, I am often asked what changes are needed to improve general mental health. Many are simple and easy and I often get a big fat 🙄. But the truth is most of us don't consistently stick with the routines we need to take care of ourselves for long enough to actually slowly notice results. Just because these practices are easy and accessible to most, does not mean they are ineffective. See below for what the research has found...

Gratitude Journaling 🙄

Regular gratitude practices like gratitude journaling have been demonstrated to:

• Increase mindfulness
• Reduce stress
• Increase life satisfaction
• Improve self-esteem
• Increase resilience
• Improve mindset

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So says: UC Berkeley, Harvard, University of Southern California

Ways to easily include a gratitude practice into your daily life:

• Share what you are grateful for with a partner at the end of the day
• Nightly journal what you are grateful for (there are gratitude apps, too!)

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Movement 🙄

Regular movement (or exercise of whatever) has been demonstrated to:

• Boost general mood
• Reduce stress
• Increase neuroplasticity (the brain's ability to adapt)
• Improve sleep
• Enhance cognitive functioning (help you think clearly)

​So says: UCLA, Mayo Clinic, American Psychological Association 
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Ways to increase movement:

• Check out Joyn's YouTube channel for body-diverse dance, pilates, yoga, and kickboxing classes
• Plan walks with friends
• Go to a gym, dance class, go rock climbing with friends
• Find an activity you love (dance, rock climbing, yoga, hiking)
• Stretch when watching a TV show at home
• Put movement on your calendar

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Going Outside 🙄

Spending time outdoors has been demonstrated to:

• Boost mood
• Reduce stress
• Increase mental clarity
• Change perspective

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So says: American Psychological Association, Harvard, University of North Carolina

Ways to make going outside part of your regular life:

• Find places that are close, comfortable, and calming for you and keep a list of these places
• Go for walks or sit in parks or go on hikes regularly
• Remember that sometimes we feel we don't have the energy, but in the end, going outside and getting fresh air is typically restorative
• Find local groups that do weekend hikes

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Self-Compassion 🙄

Establishing a regular self-compassion exercise has been found to:

• Reduce internal voice that is harshly critical
• Increase emotional resilience
• Decrease shame and anxiety
• Increase accountability
• Enhance interpersonal relationships
• Increase emotional self-awareness

So says: University of Texas at Austin, Stanford, National Institute of Health 
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Ways to increase your self-compassion:

• Regularly notice self-judgment
• Talk to yourself as if you were talking to a dear friend or to yourself as a small child
• Validate your own feelings
• Remember that you are not the only person that suffers or has this particular problem--you're not alone
• More on establishing a self-compassion practice here.

​

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Meditation 🙄

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Meditation and mindfulness practices have been demonstrated to:

• Reduce stress
• Improve emotional regulation
• Increase focus, attention, and cognitive functioning
• Improve sleep
• Increase self-awareness

So says: Harvard, Mayo Clinic, UC Davis, American Psychological Association ​

Ways to increase meditation and mindfulness:

• Make it a habit--do it on a regular basis
• Use recorded meditation (my favorites here)
• Download the Calm App or Insight App 
• Practice mindful eating one meal a day
• Go on mindfulness/meditation walks 

An important note on meditation:

Meditation is often misunderstood as sitting silently and achieving a completely clear mind. This will ｎｅｖｅｒ happen.
The goal is ｎｏｔ to completely empty your mind or forcefully stop all thoughts. Rather, it's about cultivating a state of focused awareness. This often includes noticing thoughts and coming back to points of concentration, or focusing on your breath, a mantra, bodily sensations, etc. 

I don't recommend meditation to everyone--at least not right away. For some, their thoughts are so busy or so distressing (if you have had trauma or have OCD, for instance), I recommend starting with mindfulness practices that are more engaging...like a walking meditation practice, mindful eating, or recorded visualizations.

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Sleep Hygiene 🙄

Establishing good sleep hygiene has been demonstrated to:

• Increase cognitive functioning
• Improve decision making
• Increase energy
• Promote mood and decrease stress
• Increase resilience
• Have long-term impacts of preventing mental illness and cognitive decline...like wow you really can't overstate how important sleep is.

​So says: National Institute of Health, Center for Disease Control, Columbia University, University of Oxford, Harvard, University of Chicago

How to improve sleep hygiene:

• Stick to a regular sleep schedule whenever possible
• Establish a conducive sleep environment (dark room, cozy bed, relaxing atmosphere)
• Do something relaxing before bed (journal, stretch, meditate)
• Limit screen time and stimulating activities before bed
• Limit caffeine
• Don't eat large meals right before bed
• Make your sleep routine a nightly ritual

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🙄🙄🙄 Again, none of these things resolve your childhood trauma or relationship problems; they do, however, build your resilience to be able to take care of yourself and start to make the changes you want in your life. Doing these things provides yourself the care you deeply need and deserve. Establishing practices of self-care is also an act of accountability! Taking care of yourself in the way you can helps you show up to your life in the way you want to. Do it for yourself! Do it for the collective!

Putting all the annoying things together may look like: 
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• Wake up rested after 8 hours of sleep
• Drink water, do yoga, eat breakfast
• Go outside for a short walk during my lunch break. No phone, be mindful of surroundings
• Drink water throughout the day, and stop consuming caffeine by 2
• Make a mistake and give myself a pep talk instead of beating myself up
• Have dinner with supportive friends
• Wind down for bed with gratitude journaling

I am cringe, but I am freeeee...

A note on privilege!

It is a privilege to be able to have the time, resources, quiet, mental/emotional capacity, and safety to be able to make the above happen. It's not super helpful to get these recommendations when you don't have an extra 5 minutes in your day or have a single space that feels safe--but many of us do. Be honest. Do you have what you need to take better care of yourself for you and for your community? What do you have power over? What do you have influence over? 

Looking from a trauma therapist in Oakland, CA? Learn more here.

Looking for a queer couples therapist in Oakland, CA? Learn more here. 

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