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Is there a secret to having more productive conversations with family and friends about hot button issues?
Marshall Rosenberg, the creator of Nonviolent Communication (NVC), identified a set of universal human needs that he believed underlie our feelings and behaviors. These needs are considered fundamental and shared by all people across cultures. In the framework of Nonviolent Communication, these needs serve as a basis for understanding and resolving conflicts.
As a therapist in Oakland, CA, a consistent goal of both individual and couples therapy is increasing the ability to be introspective and to generally encourage introspection in understanding how you make choices and how you experience yourself in relationships. How important is learning the skill of introspection in therapy?
Is your communication going off the rails? If so it probably includes some of the below.
Attachment theory isn't the only way to think of how you and your partners show up in relationships. The Relationship Grid developed by Terry Real can be helpful to identify the strategies you use when stressed or in conflict.
Which quadrant do you find yourself?
Are you trying to get rid of your anger? Are you trying to calm your friends and partner down when they feel angry? Here's why you may want to reconsider that approach...
🔥 𝘙𝘦𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘰𝘸𝘯 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘴' 𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘳 𝘪𝘴 𝘢 𝘱𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘵𝘰 𝘨𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘢𝘤𝘺. 🔥 Ever heard the term "blind rage"? If you relate, read below...
As a couples therapist in Oakland, CA, I often advise partners to "approach the bear" when their partner is angry. 🔥 𝘙𝘦𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘰𝘸𝘯 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘴' 𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘳 𝘪𝘴 𝘢 𝘱𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘵𝘰 𝘨𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘢𝘤𝘺. 🔥
𝖆𝖈𝖙𝖎𝖛𝖊 𝖑𝖎𝖘𝖙𝖊𝖓𝖎𝖓𝖌 is simple in concept but at times, difficult to execute. As a queer couples therapist in Oakland, CA, I often coach clients and provide opportunity to use 𝖆𝖈𝖙𝖎𝖛𝖊 𝖑𝖎𝖘𝖙𝖊𝖓𝖎𝖓𝖌 skills. 𝖆𝖈𝖙𝖎𝖛𝖊 𝖑𝖎𝖘𝖙𝖊𝖓𝖎𝖓𝖌 is listening with the intention of deeply understanding another person 𝕒𝕟𝕕 helping another person ✨feel✨ you are fully present to hear about and understand their experience.
***Resources are not a substitute for therapy and are not intended for making diagnoses or providing treatment. Not all practices and tools are suitable for every person. Please discuss exercises, practices, and tools with your individual therapist or health care provider.