As a therapist in Oakland, CA, a consistent goal of both individual and couples therapy is increasing the ability to be introspective and to generally encourage introspection in understanding how you make choices and how you experience yourself in relationships. How important is learning the skill of introspection in therapy?
Are you trying to get rid of your anger? Are you trying to calm your friends and partner down when they feel angry? Here's why you may want to reconsider that approach...
🔥 𝘙𝘦𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘰𝘸𝘯 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘴' 𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘳 𝘪𝘴 𝘢 𝘱𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘵𝘰 𝘨𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘢𝘤𝘺. 🔥 Ever heard the term "blind rage"? If you relate, read below...
As a couples therapist in Oakland, CA, I often advise partners to "approach the bear" when their partner is angry. 🔥 𝘙𝘦𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘰𝘸𝘯 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘴' 𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘳 𝘪𝘴 𝘢 𝘱𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘵𝘰 𝘨𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘢𝘤𝘺. 🔥
Individuals who've experienced complex trauma and/or emotionally dysregulated caretakers may experience heightened anger or have a hard time experiencing and interacting with anger at all.
As a trauma therapist in Oakland, CA, my clients are working on feeling, understanding, processing, and soothing their feelings. One of my favorite resources is Tara Brach's RAIN practice, a mindfulness technique that helps individuals recognize, allow, investigate, and nurture their inner experiences.
As a trauma therapist in Oakland, CA, I integrate DBT skills in helping clients with emotional reactivity.
I believe therapy can be a space for insight, a space for feeling heard and understood, a space to process certain experiences, a space for you to be you. Therapy can also be a space to explore what shifts you want to make in your day-to-day life including building a better sense of who you are, soothing anxiety, increasing emotional regulation, and working on broader life goals.
In order to make those changes, you have to make shifts. You need to focus your attention on your intention to change.
***Resources are not a substitute for therapy and are not intended for making diagnoses or providing treatment. Not all practices and tools are suitable for every person. Please discuss exercises, practices, and tools with your individual therapist or health care provider.