Operating Within Your Window of Tolerance

The window of tolerance refers to the optimal range of emotional and physiological arousal that a person can manage effectively. The window of tolerance is a helpful metaphor I use as a trauma therapist in Oakland, CA. 

As a couples therapist in Oakland, CA, one of the first things I teach is how to pause when outside of your window of tolerance. When discussing important things with partners, friends, or family, you NEED to be in your window of tolerance. When a person's level of arousal is within this optimal range, they are better able to think clearly, regulate their emotions, and engage in adaptive behaviors. Once you exit your window of tolerance, you need to take a break, slow down, or shift gears.
​

Signs you are outside of your window of tolerance:

• Heightened emotional reactivity: intense emotions, anger, fear, or sadness, and difficulty regulating those feelings.
• Physical symptoms: sweating, increased heart rate, or muscle tension.
• Cognitive distortions: Black and white thinking, negative thoughts or beliefs about yourself, others, or the situation that are not grounded in reality, rigidity in ideas.
• Dissociation or difficulty concentrating: experiencing a sense of detachment from reality, feeling sleepy, feeling confused, not being able to concentrate on what is being said.
• Impulsive behavior: Acting without thinking through the consequences of your actions.

Looking from a trauma therapist in Oakland, CA? Learn more here.

Looking for a queer couples therapist in Oakland, CA? Learn more here. ​

triggers and the window of tolerance