Do I Dissociate? What Dissociation Is and Isn't and How Trauma Is Involved.

Do you dissociate? Yea, probably...

As a trauma therapist in Oakland, CA, I am commonly asked about dissociation. Dissociation seems to be a popular topic... 

The Evolution of The Concept of Dissociation

The concept of dissociation has evolved over time, leading to different understandings and definitions of the term. Initially, the term "dissociation" was primarily associated with the idea of "fragmentation of identity." However, in more modern psychological and psychiatric contexts, the understanding of dissociation has broadened to encompass a wider range dissociative experiences, including the good old fashioned "zoning out" that we all do.

1. ​Original definition, Fragmentation of Identity: In the early development of the concept of dissociation, dissociation described a fragmentation of identity: an experience of dissociation or identity disturbance that can occur in response to stress, trauma, or other adverse life experiences. This is a common experience of trauma survivors and involves a disruption in the integration of various aspects of one's sense of self. If you experience fragmentation, you may experience parts of yourself that feel different than your own understanding of yourself. For instance, you experience intense anger while generally a compassionate person. On the more intense end of the spectrum is dissociative identity disorder (DID), which involves the fragmentation of an individual's identity into distinct and separate personalities or identity states. These different identity states can have their own memories, behaviors, and perceptions, often resulting in memory gaps between them. 
2. Contemporary definition, what people usually mean: In more contemporary usage the understanding of dissociation has expanded beyond fragmentation in the self. Dissociation is now recognized as a complex spectrum of experiences that involve disruptions in consciousness, memory, identity, and perception. It can manifest in various forms, ranging from mild and common experiences like daydreaming and spacing out to more severe dissociative disorders.

Modern definitions of dissociation include:

• Daydreaming, zoning out, highway hypnosis, etc: These dissociative occurrences are experienced by most people. For instance, you get in you car to drive somewhere familiar and you feel you barely remember the actual drive, sitting and thinking about something and not noticing when someone starts to talk to you, spacing out in the front of the TV, etc. Some of this is normal and healthy and on the more intense end, one might want to intervene with intentional mindfulness practices.   
• Depersonalization: Feeling detached or disconnected from oneself, as if observing one's thoughts, feelings, and actions from outside the body. This is associated with higher levels of anxiety and/or trauma. 
• Derealization: Experiencing the external world as unreal, dreamlike, or distorted. This is associated with higher levels of anxiety and/or trauma. 
• Dissociative Amnesia: Inability to recall important personal information or memories. 
• This is associated with higher levels of anxiety and/or trauma. 
• Dissociative Identity Disorder: A complex dissociative disorder characterized by the presence of two or more distinct personality states, each with its own identity, memories, and behaviors, in a single individual. This experience is on the far end of the spectrum of dissociation.

Fragmentation of Identity: 

The original conceptualization of dissociation refers to the experience of feeling divided or disconnected within oneself. It may involve experiencing conflicting thoughts, emotions, or self-perceptions that create a sense of internal dissonance. The individual may feel like they have different parts or aspects of themselves that do not fully integrate or communicate effectively with each other.

How Trauma Impacts Fragmentation: 

Developmental trauma (or complex trauma) can create fragmentation within an individual's personality due to the overwhelming nature of the traumatic experiences, especially during critical stages of development. When exposed to significant and ongoing trauma, particularly in childhood, a person's coping mechanisms may not be fully developed, leading to dissociation as a protective response. 

“Early relational trauma results from the fact that we are often given more to experience in this life than we can bear to experience consciously. This problem has been around since the beginning of time, but it is especially acute in early childhood where, because of the immaturity of the psyche and/or brain, we are ill-equipped to metabolize our experience. An infant or young child who is abused, violated or seriously neglected by a caretaking adult is overwhelmed by intolerable affects that are impossible for it to metabolize, much less understand or even think about.”
― Donald Kalsched, Trauma and the Soul: A psycho-spiritual approach to human development and its interruption

The Function of Fragmentation: 

Developmental trauma, such as abuse, neglect, or repeated exposure to distressing events, can be too much for a young child's developing mind to process and integrate. To protect themselves from emotional and psychological harm, the child's mind may employ defense mechanisms, such as dissociation, to compartmentalize and distance from the traumatic experiences. Dissociation involves a range of experiences, from feeling emotionally detached to losing memories of traumatic events. During moments of significant trauma, dissociation can be a way for the mind to "freeze" certain parts of the personality or emotional experiences, effectively separating them from conscious awareness.

“the brain’s innate physical structure and two separate, specialized hemispheres facilitate left brain-right brain disconnection under conditions of threat. Capitalizing on the tendency of the left brain to remain positive, task-oriented, and logical under stress, these writers hypothesized that the disconnected left brain side of the personality stays focused on the tasks of daily living, while the other hemisphere fosters an implicit right brain self that remains in survival mode, braced for danger, ready to run, frozen in fear, praying for rescue, or too ashamed to do anything but submit.”
― Janina Fisher, Healing the Fragmented Selves of Trauma Survivors: Overcoming Internal Self-Alienation

When dissociation occurs repeatedly in response to trauma, distinct parts of the personality may emerge or "split off" to contain the overwhelming emotions and experiences associated with specific traumatic events. These dissociative parts may remain separate from the individual's core sense of self and awareness. he presence of dissociative parts can lead to a fragmented sense of self. Instead of experiencing a cohesive and integrated identity, the person may feel like they have multiple aspects, each holding different emotions, memories, and reactions related to the traumatic experiences.

Common experiences of fragmentation include:

1. Emotional Disconnection: Feeling emotionally numb or detached from one's feelings, as if emotions are compartmentalized and not fully integrated into the person's experience.
2. Depersonalization: A sense of detachment from oneself, almost as if observing one's actions, thoughts, and feelings from outside the body.
3. Derealization: Feeling that the external world is unreal, dreamlike, or distant, which can lead to a sense of detachment from reality.
4. Inner Conflicts: Experiencing conflicting beliefs, desires, or values that create internal struggles or confusion.
5. Memory Gaps or Dissociative Amnesia: Experiencing memory lapses or gaps during times of distress or traumatic events.
6. Identity Confusion: Uncertainty about one's identity, values, or life direction, often due to experiences that challenge one's self-concept.

Healing Dissociation and Fragmentation

By recognizing and engaging with the dissociative parts in a supportive and non-judgmental manner, individuals can gradually integrate these parts into a more unified and resilient sense of self, leading to healing and improved emotional well-being. A parts work lens can facilitate healing by helping individuals with internal fragmentation and dissociation to develop self-awareness, compassionately engage with their different parts or aspects, and foster integration, allowing for a more cohesive and harmonious sense of self and improved emotional regulation. Additional trauma processing (like EMDR, somatic work, insight based talk therapy) may be necessary along with potential skill building (DBT, relational psychotherapy, group work).

Do I Dissociate?