You shouldn't have to choose between authenticity--being your full + wonderful self--and attachment. You should be able to find people who fully love you--and even delight in you--and provide you secure attachment. This is especially true in childhood! As a trauma therapist in Oakland, CA, I often see clients who suffer from codependency, people pleasing, low self esteem, and attachment issues--strategies that arouse when they needed attachment and their authentic selves were rejected.
0 Comments
As a trauma therapist in Oakland, CA, I see many clients who experience an inner critic, from intense self criticism to cruel self-hatred. I encourage an empowering reframe: self-hatred has kept you safe, and protected you from intolerable feelings and experiences-- vulnerability, mistakes, accountability, disappointment, reckoning with trauma--but do you still need to be using self-hatred as a tool?
As a trauma therapist in Oakland, CA, I get this question a lot: did I really experience trauma? Trauma is an emotional and physical response to a major stressor (or series of stressors), typically where one feels powerless.
Something stressful, annoying, sad, scary, and even triggering is not traumatizing *unless* there are lasting psychological and/or psychobiological impacts. It is important to distinguish so people with trauma get the care they need. Don't get me wrong--when things suck, that matters, too, but you may need a different level of care, processing, and treatment. I find myself describing some of the less common impact of trauma to my clients as a trauma therapist in Oakland, CA. Childhood trauma can result from a wide range of experiences, including but not limited to:
As a trauma therapist in Oakland, CA, I integrate DBT skills in helping clients with emotional reactivity.
|
AuthorStephanie Bain, LMFT Archives
April 2024
Categories
All
***Resources are not a substitute for therapy and are not intended for making diagnoses or providing treatment. Not all practices and tools are suitable for every person. Please discuss exercises, practices, and tools with your individual therapist or health care provider.
|