Therapy for People Pleasers in Oakland, CA.

“I used to spend so much time reacting and responding to everyone else that my life had no direction. Other people's lives, problems, and wants set the course for my life. Once I realized it was okay for me to think about and identify what I wanted, remarkable things began to take place in my life.”
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― Melody Beattie, The Language of Letting Go: Daily Meditations on Codependency

I'm a therapist for people pleasers in Oakland, CA! Therapy for people pleasers can help break the cycle of constantly putting others' needs first and develop healthier patterns of behavior and self-care. One of the main struggles people pleasers experience is feeling safe showing up authentically and increasing self-compassion. 

Therapy for people pleasers might include working on...

1. Exploring underlying issues: Therapy can help people pleasers explore the root causes of their need to please others, such as past trauma, low self-esteem, or anxiety. 
2. Learning to set boundaries: People pleasers often struggle with setting boundaries and saying no to others, which can lead to burnout and resentment. Therapy can help individuals develop assertiveness skills and learn to set boundaries that are respectful and effective.
3. Building self-compassion: People pleasers can be highly self-critical and may have a difficult time taking care of their own needs. Therapy can help individuals develop self-compassion skills and learn to prioritize their own self-care and well-being.
4. Developing communication skills: People pleasers may struggle with expressing their own needs and desires to others, which can lead to feelings of resentment and frustration. Therapy can help individuals develop effective communication skills and learn how to express themselves in a way that is assertive, clear, and respectful.
5. Learning to tolerate discomfort: People pleasers often avoid conflict or discomfort at all costs, which can lead to a lack of personal growth and development. Therapy can help individuals learn to tolerate discomfort and challenge themselves in healthy ways, which can lead to increased self-esteem and a sense of personal fulfillment.

Trauma and People Pleasing 
Trauma, especially in early life, can disrupt a person's sense of safety and security. In order to cope with the traumatic experiences and mitigate the risk of further harm, individuals may develop a heightened need for external validation and a strong desire to please others as a way to seek safety, security, and maintain a sense of control. Traumatic experiences can create a deep fear of negative consequences, such as punishment, abandonment, or rejection. People who have experienced trauma may adopt people-pleasing behaviors as a means to avoid triggering these feared consequences, believing that by pleasing others, they can minimize the potential for harm. In some cases, people-pleasing behaviors may have been adaptive strategies developed during the traumatic experience itself. Individuals may have learned that complying with others' demands, avoiding conflict, or prioritizing others' needs helped them navigate or survive challenging or abusive situations. Therapy for people pleasers often include trauma processing. 

Looking for a therapist for people pleasers in Oakland, CA? Contact me here.

Therapy for people pleasers in Oakland, CA