Do you become dysregulated when feeling angry?

🔥 𝘙𝘦𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘰𝘸𝘯 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘴' 𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘳 𝘪𝘴 𝘢 𝘱𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘵𝘰 𝘨𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘢𝘤𝘺. 🔥 Ever heard the term "blind rage"? If you relate, read below...

The Development of Your Anger Response
As a trauma therapist in Oakland, CA I work with people who have experienced trauma and experience heightened anger as a response. Highly sensitive people or people with BPD or BPD-like symptoms can be especially prone to feeling overwhelming anger.  I take more about this response here and here. Further, some individuals who haven't been taught to express emotions may only feel comfortable expressing anger. 

Unhelpful Anger Can Look Like:

• Yelling, blaming, shaming, black + white thinking
• Complete bodily overwhelm​
• ​Feeling out of control
  
• Threats
• Violence or property damage
• Experiencing shame spirals
• Impulsive decision making (including threatening break ups, moving out, etc) 

Learning to Regulate + Relate to Anger
If those unhelpful anger expressions are common, it's not your fault but it is your responsibility to learn to regulate your nervous system and build a better relationship to your emotional world. This is no easy task and if often a huge part of the work of trauma therapy. Tool-based modalities like dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT) can help learn to regulate anger as well as other forms of processing trauma. 

Helpful Anger Can Look Like:

• Taking responsibility for regulating 
• Using I statements and talking about your experience
• Asking for boundaries or changes without degrading another person
• Not blaming or shaming another person
• Non-defensive listening, empathy, validation
• Taking breaks when needed​

Anger is just an emotion like any other. Anger is not inherently bad and does not need to be suppressed. Anger is here to protect us or our loved ones.

Many of us feel uncomfortable around any sign of anger and feel the need to remove ourselves or to shut down the anger in another person. If this happens to you, read here. 

Looking from a trauma therapist in Oakland, CA? Learn more here.

Looking for a queer couples therapist in Oakland, CA? Learn more here. ​​

Do you become dysregulated when feeling angry?