The 4 Stages of Self-Soothing

When clients are working on feeling, understanding, processing, and soothing their feels I often recommend, Tara Brach's RAIN practice, a mindfulness technique that helps individuals recognize, allow, investigate, and nurture their inner experiences.

The acronym RAIN stands for:

R - Recognize what is happening
A - Allow the experience to be there, without trying to change it
I - Investigate with curiosity and openness
N - Nurture with self-compassion
The practice encourages individuals to become more aware of their thoughts, emotions, and bodily sensations, and to approach them with a non-judgmental attitude. By investigating these experiences with curiosity and openness, individuals can gain insight into their patterns of thinking and feeling, and cultivate self-compassion and self-acceptance. She has a free recording of this practice on her website. 

To dig in deeper, check out ​Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life With the Heart of a Buddha By Tara Brach.